Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Randomize
