so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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