Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
