one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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