True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
