Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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