I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
