insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
