I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
All I want is dick and wine.
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