Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
