i dedicated my morning wood to you.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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