I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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