I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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