Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
4 words: hood of his car
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
