My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
someone threw a dead crab at me
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize