You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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