Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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