the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i will never coherently bang her
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Randomize