can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
