pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
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We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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