Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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