all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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