i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
