I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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