I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
