No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize