Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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