mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I have tasted many bathrooms
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