yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
