ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
