What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
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