I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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