discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
