Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Enjoy the penises
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
