He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
