wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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