I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
