i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
We are two peas in an std pod
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
