Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Can vaginas get frostbite?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head