her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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