when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
