remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
