Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
