i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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