I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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