Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
