Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
