i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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