It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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