im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
If its not for food we ain't going out.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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