This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
