First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
