is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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