She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize