how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
