who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize